How could an angel break my heart?
Posted On Sunday, 28 September 2008 at at 21:42 by this is mePeople say reality bites but I say reality kills… today so far I have the worse birthday ever invented in my life. I received lots of messages from people I care… Thank you to all of you for the lovely greetings. And one of the messages came from fii. He messaged me around 2.30 am. I woke up a little after that because last night I feel sleepy early and tired bagas di gadong dengan hai and dibah. We sungkai out… wish you were here yat. So anyway, I reply all of the messages and only fii reply it back. We text and text until that one msg I told him I went to gdg dgn kwn. So he asked wat tym and where and stuff because he went to gdg as well. So I told him lah and I ask him about his part of the story. Unfortunately… disaster happened. He wasn’t out with his friends as always but with the girl he showed her picture to his mom. Remember I told you that we showed two pictures to his mom? Yeah… he went out went out with her!!! I can’t deny reality by saying I wasn’t hurt… I can’t deny by saying I didn’t care… when truth is it hurts to know he’s been going out with the girl even though last night was the first night they went out together and I assume after his… there will be more outs. I asked myself… why didn’t I go out with him after all this time every time asked?
Well, to some extend it doesn’t hurt as bad as imagine it would be but there are still tears in my eyes… my stomach suddenly goes bad and I vomited but baik jua before azan subuh which my puasa is still on. I guess my doa tidak dimakbulkan Allah but I will keep on trying and praying. I know I am not in any position to ask about His will but I do really wanna ask why He did this to me… why He send me this mess… when all I pray for is for him to be with me.. to be mine… I guess I haven’t pray enough or did I pray our loves apart? How could he break my heart?!!!
***So now my new resolution is… I have to move on with my life***
ZIM: I love the quotes in ur blog and my favorite which says… “giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go” I will always remember this quote. TQ for putting it in ur blog. And again… ajar nanti cana type dengan warna and font yg lain2 ah… yg dh u ajar pun lupa dh. Hehe…
Yat: How’s the exam? Yat… I wish u were here… cause I know u can make me forget about everything.. tho I know I’ll get thru dis alone. Miss you yat… TQ for the call u made and I really appreciate it. Nice to hear ur voice again yat. Hang on tight alright.
Hai & Dibah: TQ for the lovely chit chat. I have an amazing night with the two of you last night. But too bad… mcm sekajap we talked tu… well at least I think so… me and my bubbly mouth.
D: Puasa is soon to abis…my ice cream jan di lupakan… hehe… *hints* ah ah ah… akan saya nantikan walaupun u go MIA… haha :p
AL: Mudah2han I can send u to the airport this Thursday since ur flight has been shift kan… all the best di sana Al… I’m so jelous but I hate doing tesis. Hehe… but I think one day I’ll go and do my master. Insyallah.
Fill: Maybe the time for us to be together has come to an end.. Mungkin? I can’t erase you from my life even though I really want to see you as never existed in my life but hey… reality kills… you are going to be part of me as long as the hearts says u still have a room but I can’t promise how long will the hearts allowed you to stay. But I always put in my mind that no matter how precious our memories are…. There’s always another side to a coin that u can live your life. so right now, my starting to change the side of the coin from head to tail… as I said way before… once you pick the other gal… u’ll lose me… I won’t be the same girl u knew before… there will be a line drawn between us… just hope I can see you as a friend now… but I don’t know… cause every part of me is still filled by you and you alone. Still pray to God that u’ll be mine one day…. Only God knows how deep that feeling is. But answer me… why do you show my face to other people around you… that u are close to when you have set ur mind?
Others: TQ for the love messages again… TQ for remembering my day. TQ for all the wishes.
Kam, there is more than one angel in ur life. I am one of ur angel who can make u happy and forget about those unfortunate events in your life.
Do u remember that one promise when i start to work.I keep that promise and it is one of my lists that make me pursue my study even though i have undesirable failure in my exams recently.
Kam, be strong and never blame god for such things. Just continue praying. Sooner or later u going to have the best gift that u ever had.Ok.Be patient and never give up.Ok:)