my home...my world

entah lah... kadang2 mcm i feel like giving up hope bt den mcm nda jua mau... hmm... things been up side down lately. especially when he mention about his X. i got this feeling of jelousy and at tyms i feel like vanishing his memories with her... but then i can't. cause its his past life. he need to realise his own... m just here to support him all the way... she can have his past... but please i want his future... don't take his future away from me...

i think i got a feeling that he is as crazy as i am. but he just don't realise it. both of us can't live a day without communicating with each other. there are tyms when i dnt talk to him senghaja... then there will be a msg from him. hehe... i love it so much walaupun msg nya pandai me-mentalkan. at tyms he's just checking around if i sleep late or not (which i always sleep late)... kali mun ia tau i sleep late... his 'nasihat' th keluar... atu yg bagi grigitan... ia pun sama jua tdo ahir... hmm... but i'm still thinking... ngapa ya liatkan mama nya my face... and put my pic at his mob? (so he claim lah).... apa th ertinya tu? paning jua eh.. oh ya... have i told u b4... i think eng2 pernah liat muka c fii at my fone lh tym ia ngacau my fone. but she just keep quiet and act like nothing happen. and another things... a few suggested i went to his home tym raya... i said "forget it!" hehe...

a couple more ask me to stay and wait for him. this is the question... how long shall i wait? cause with each passing days... i'm into him even more... there are times a ask myself... what shall i do if he doesn't pick me? i sit and think hard... the outcome is... i think i'll die... hmm.... i can't lose him... not now... not ever... these are some of the things i want to be for him (i know i'm crazy):

1. i wanna be his hands, so that i can help him reach his aims

2. i wanna be his eyes, so that maybe i can help him see lyf better

3. i wanna be his 'tulang belakang', so that i can support him when he has no energy left, i'm always there supporting him.

4. i wanna be 'sumber kegembiraan', so that i can kikis all the sadness in him.

5. i wanna be his clown, so that he can only laugh and not cry

6. i wanna be his bestfriend in life, so that when he's feeling down, all he got to do is just look beside him and i'm there to bring a smile on his face.


***there's too much i wanna be for him but will i be given the opportunity to be all that for him?

oh... just now i dedicate another song or him but nda lah nyanyi... i just type the lyrics to him on msn... hehe... it sounds like...

let me sleep, for when i sleep i dream that u were here
you're mine, and all my fears are left behind
i float on air,
and nightingale sing gentle lullaby
so let me close my eyes

and slip a chance to dream
so i can see the face i long to touch, to kiss
but only dreams can bring me this
so let the moon shine
softly on the boy i long to see
and maybe when he sleep
he'll dream of me

hide beneath the clouds
whisper to the evening stars
they tell me love is just a dream away...
dream away...
a dream away...

fii: who is 'he'?
me: hehe
fii: ketawa akan makna tu
.
.
.
me: i dedicate that song to you
fii: adyh.. patut lah terasa
me: tau tanya g
fii: memastikan

Me::::: dush!!!!::::


*************************

more questions:

1. what is her motive?
2. what is the reason when someone put ur picture as a wallpaper on the mobile?
3. when will he be serious?
4. when will he realise i here waiting?